Woman Has Security Kick Cousin Out of Wedding for Not Following the Theme and Outshining Her in an Eye-Catching Gold Dress, Igniting Dispute as Family Members Take Sides

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 17, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Welcome, gossiping goddesses. Weddings themes are becoming increasingly popular. While it has long been in style to having a certain color scheme for the decorations and bridal party, lately brides and grooms have been asking their guests to follow strict dress codes. From Halloween weddings where guests are expected to show up decked out in spooky costumes to aesthetic weddings that require guests to adhere to a particular color palette, wedding themes can be tricky for every guest to follow to the bride and groom's specifications.

In our story today, our protagonist ended up calling security on her cousin on the day of her wedding. Her crime? Wearing gold to a white-themed wedding. Because our protagonist hates wearing white herself, she had asked her guests to wear the it instead. Her cousin, having a similar dislike of the color, chose to ignore the wedding theme and arrived instead in a dazzling gold dress that stole the bride's spotlight. Second-guessing herself, our protagonist took to the internet to ask if she had been too harsh with her cousin, and she was met with mixed responses. Read the full story and comments down below. 

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  • 01
    r/Amlthe u/Ok-Avocado1639 • 19h AITAH For having my cousin thrown out of my wedding for not wearing white.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 02
    I (28F) got married two weeks ago and I am still getting backlash from what happened so I'm here to see if I really am in the wrong.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 03
    My husband and I decided to have a child free white wedding where the guests are in white. I personally don't like to wear white because I always feel that no matter what I'm doing something always manages to get me dirty. So, my dress was not white but blue.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 04
    This all started when I decided who would be in my bridal party. I chose two friends from middle school, one from high school, my 16-yr old niece and my cousin. Since I was having a child free wedding, I didn't want anyone under the age of 18 but my whole family knows my niece is my one exception.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 05
    When we went to the dress shop to pick out dresses, I informed my bridesmaids they would be in black to match the groomsman. Everyone was on board with the color, and we found a dress that fit everyone, and the top could be adjusted for
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 06
    comfort. Everything was going great until my cousin asked why my niece was getting the same dress, so I told her she was a bridesmaid. Cousin said she assumed she was there for a flower girl dress since I'm not inviting anyone under 18 and if I needed another bridesmaid her daughter could do it. I told cousin no, and her daughter is a guest. Things got awkward but we were done so we left, and I took my niece out and explained she was a bridesmaid and that wasn't changing.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 07
    Everything was going great after that until bridal dress shopping. At that point I had done alot of research to find dress style I liked and who had the color I wanted or could get it. I went to the appointment with my bridesmaids, my parents, and in-laws. Everything was fine but I didn't like anything I picked until my mom found a dress, I didn't think I would like but ended up being the one and they
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 08
    could get it in my color. We were all happy until my cousin said something that made me snap. She said that I should pick a dress that made me look prettier and not as fat. I blacked out and said a bunch of things I shouldn't have then kicked her out of the bridal party and the wedding. A few days later my aunt who I love, and respect called to ask for my cousin to be invited as a guest. I did feel guilty about the things I said so I said yes.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 09
    Fast forward to the wedding and it was my turn to walk out and the first thing, I see out the corner of my eye is GOLD. My cousin sat in a middle row on the aisle in a gold strapless dress. (how she looked) I wanted to cry but we continued on and once we were finished, I told my wedding planner to have her kicked out and kept away.
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 10
    D
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  • 11
    A few think she could have stayed but others think she should have followed the dress code. My aunt thinks I could have asked her to leave instead of having security throw her out and embarrass her. AITAH for throwing my cousin out for wearing gold not white? 4,802 1,426 D
    via u/Ok-Avocado1639
  • 12
    WhereWeretheAdults 19h ESH. "I personally don't like to wear white..." Oh, I have a great idea! Let's force everyone else to wear white if they want the privilege of coming to my wedding. Yeah. That's a bit of logic I can't get my head around. Cousin is an AH also. ... 5.2k
    via u/WhereWeretheAdults
  • 13
    musingsofapathy • 18h As she doesn't like to wear white, you can assume she doesn't have any all-white outfits and should assume that those around her don't already have a ready to go white outfit. So she turns around and forces the entire audience to buy white outfits? Formal white outfits?
    via u/musingsofapathy
  • 14
    I vote YTA not for the stated reason, but because most brides only force their wedding party to go. buy expensive formal outfits. This bride has the audacity to try to force every attendee to buy a single use outfit. 1k
    via u/musingsofapathy
  • 15
    Sifsmum 17h • That's what I couldn't get my head around either - she doesn't like white but thinks everyone who attends her precious wedding should? There are very few people who could pull off white. If I read that there would be no way I was going. Also the cousin was an AH for what she said and did. Definitely ESH. 106
    via u/Sifsmum
  • 16
    leftclicksq2. 16h My friend's sister had a beige wedding. She requested that all of the guests wear beige and ideally with white accents. Meanwhile, she and her bridesmaids wore white, her husband and his groomsmen (my friend included), all wore black tuxes.
    via u/leftclicksq2
  • 17
    I mean, ok, if that's your preference, you do you. But my friend's sister was strict about the guests adhering to this to suit her vision ++. Q 62
    via u/leftclicksq2
  • 18
    named afternoone • 13h Sad beige clothes, for sad beige weddings. 85
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  • 19
    riontach • 19h Ahle Enthusiast [5] ESH. It sounds like she was being deliberately spiteful. However, I would absolutely not attend a wedding that required me to wear white. Your demand of your guests was unreasonable. DŴ 3k ↓
    via u/riontach
  • 20
    hellinahandbasket127 18h Right?!?! To say is a terrible color to wear and then make it her dress code is WILD! I look terrible in white, and always seem to mess up my lighter colored clothing. I would not have. attended a white wedding. 561
    via u/hellinahandbasket127
  • 21
    leftclicksq2. 16h I just commented about my friend's sister's requirement that all guests where beige -preferably with white accents- to her wedding. There were rumblings about how relatives were having a hard time finding exactly what the bride wanted. At that point, it's like "f You either want these people to attend your wedding or you don't. 162
    via u/leftclicksq2
  • 22
    NTA Solicited Opinionator • 18h Good, GOD I do not understand the favorite pastime of this sub passing judgement on tangential information that is not related to the question just because OP comes off as unlikeable. Who cares if OP is a hypocrite about wearing white. That's not what she's asking about.
    via u/SolicitedOpinionator
  • 23
    I say NTA because cousin knew the dress code, and INTENTIONALLY violated it out of what can only be assumed is spite. She was in the bridal party so and knew the vision that OP has for her wedding. So I don't think having her kicked was an issue. D 692
    via u/SolicitedOpinionator
  • 24
    Old_Lab9197 • 18h THANK YOU!!! I don't understand all of these judgements. Anyone who takes issue with the couples choices is centering themselves—not the couple. They cry that the bride should "get over it" and that she's being dramatic when it's like okay.....so if you, as a guest, didn't like the dress code...why couldn't you, the guest, be the one to it up instead of the bride, considering this day isn't about you??? This isn't your special day, people!!! I don't get it omg 255
    via u/Old_Lab9197
  • 25
    ITookTrinkets • 11h I don't even think it's relevant that OP doesn't personally like wearing white. If they hadn't included that, I think the results here would be different. Instead, everyone has clung onto that tidbit and turned it into some weird attempt by OP to debase her wedding guests. It's so weird, especially when wedding themes are so common.
    via u/ITookTrinkets
  • 26
    Me, I got married in a black dress. I love white wedding dresses, but I don't enjoy how I look in white, so I didn't wear it. My wife wore an off- white dress and looked incredible - and they would have looked amazing in pure white. I don't look down on them for wearing it; they chose an amazing dress that perfectly, and unintentionally, complemented mine.
    via u/ITookTrinkets
  • 27
    My preferences for myself do not mean that I look down on the things I personally prefer not to wear. Why are so many people assuming that OP is malicious for being open about having a preference for their own clothing?! ... ↑ 37 B
    via u/ITookTrinkets
  • 28
    Comeback_321 • 18h She embarrassed herself. Anyone who purposefully dresses opposing to EVERYONE else WANTS to be seen. She brought every thing down on herself. I'm not a fan of bridezillas and you were far from it. She NEEDED to have the attention so she REALLY got the attention - she just didn't get to determine what that attention was. I'm sorry this happened to you on your wedding day. NTA. 179 ↓
    via u/Comeback_321
  • 29
    DizzyCaidy 18h • is with these comments? You decided on a dress code for the guests- this isn't uncommon at weddings, and your cousin decided to blatantly go against it. Let's be real, she did so in protest of you kicking her out as a bridesmaid originally and it was fuelled by her just being petty. Your NTA for standing your ground and kicking her out, it's not about wearing the gold dress, it's about the disrespect she showed you. 166
    via u/DizzyCaidy

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Wedding Themes family drama bride groom wedding drama gold reddit story relationships wedding Party couples love entitled reddit thread bridezilla Reddit cousins
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